FCYU-Feature Story

Ready or Not: Getting a grip on motherhood.

I was 14 when I gave birth to my daughter, Marvia. I had to change a lot. I had to learn to be patient and responsible. Some days I was so tired and Marvia would cry and cry. When I didn't feel like giving Marvia all my attention, I'd think about how bad I felt when I was not getting any attention from my dad. The last thing I want to do is make my baby feel like she can't depend on me.

Then, two months after I gave birth, I went into a mother-child group home. That made motherhood even more difficult. My things would go missing, or I'd get into it with another resident or staff. I felt very stressed there.

Like me, many teens in foster care end up having kids before they feel ready. Overall, teen pregnancy in the U.S. has gone way down in the last 10 years. But among girls in care, it's still pretty common.

By age 19, nearly half of all girls in foster care have been pregnant, and 31% have had a child. (Nationwide, only 12.2% of girls have had a child by age 19.) That means there are a lot of young moms who may be feeling overwhelmed. Having to care for someone else when you're still in care yourself is a lot to handle.

If you're having sex without using protection, or if you're thinking about having a baby, ask yourself the questions I wish I'd asked myself: Am I working and living in my own apartment? Am I in love with my child's father? Have we been together for a long time? Does he have a job? Are we both well-educated? Are we independent? Can we depend on each other? If you can't answer "yes" to these questions, you might want to wait to become a parent.

And if you're already doing the best you can to take care of your child, here's my advice: Keep your head up. Listen to the older generation-someone who you think treats their children well. Try to pay your child a lot of attention. Always know a few ways to keep a smile on your child's face. And if you need help, ask for it.

—Shannel Walker